Phone Chats

Since I do travel so much, I try to remember to call every morning and every evening to check in. I ask the standard set of questions, How did Roo sleep? How did she wake up? What did she have for breakfast? How was school? Did she do any art projects? What did she eat for dinner? Blah, blah, blah. I guess I think that by asking those questions, I am still somewhat involved in her day…from 1500 miles away.

Typically when I call Kerry puts the phone on speaker (we have been doing this for each other since she was an infant) and he proceeds to try to convince Roo to speak to me. He says “Roo guess who it is? It’s Mommy!” Most of the time she just wants to grab the phone and play with the buttons, which means ultimately she is just going to hang up on me.

Kerry makes is best effort to encourage Roo to be phone chatty and sometimes it actually works. At worst I get a “bye-bye” and at best I get a couple more words, an “I love you” and a “bye-bye”. If Kerry is in a tickling mood, I might even get a couple of giggles. To be honest I don’t care what she says as long as I get to hear her little voice at least once a day.

The thing I don’t understand is that when someone is not on the phone that is when she finds it the most attractive. She grabs it out of the charger, puts it up to her ear, rests it on her shoulder and has a full blown conversation. All to the standard recorded message “your call can not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try your call again.” Because, of course, she has pressed the “on” button.

She also knows how to use the ringer. In fact she prefers to mess with the ringer, pretending that the phone has actually rung, before she begins her phone chat. This all usually happens when I have turned my back or have walked out of the room and I run scrambling to answer the phone only to realize that Roo has commandeered it for a little playtime. It is like a cruel joke that I should’ve learned the punchline for already, but she keeps doing it and I keep running for the phone.

Growing up we had a Mickey Mouse rotary phone in our family room. My Sister was apparently quite the household troublemaker and into everything. My Mother tells a story about how she caught My Sister in mid-phone call one afternoon. To Japan. To be honest I think it is a family urban legend, but I need to remember to check our phone bill. The one thing I have learned is that chances are that your toddler is smarter than you think they are, or at least smarter than you are ready for them to be.

Just When You Think You Can’t Feel Any Guiltier

The world of a working Mom is surrounded by guilt. No matter what you are doing or who you are with, you feel like you are gypping someone out of your time. Add in the fact that I am an overachieving control freak and I am basically screwed. Especially Monday through Friday. If I leave at 5 to spend time with Roo, I feel like I am not doing my job and by the time I get home I feel like I am rushing to put her to sleep so I can check my email. Add to that the fact that I have been on a plane almost every other week since January 1 and I just feel like a crappy Mom and a crappy employee.

After returning from the Bahamas it has been especially bad. This past weekend I had to miss out on my typical Roo time and head to NJ for a friend’s bridal shower. I really couldn’t take her with me so I left her at home with Dad and felt HORRIBLE. By the time I got home on Sunday she was 2 hours away from her bedtime and I had to be on a 6 AM flight to AR on Monday. I was so stressed about it, but Roo, as always, made me feel better.

Our typical bedtime routine is Mommy is in charge of bath time and bedtime prep. Daddy is in charge of reading and rocking. This night Kerry offered to let me hog the entire bedtime routine and read to Roo since I wouldn’t see her all week. I gladly accepted. Roo climbed into my lap with George (Curious George has become her cuddle buddy lately) and I began reading a Winnie the Pooh book. As I got to somewhere in the middle of the story, my sweet little girl looked up at me through her blonde bangs and reached up behind my neck with her free arm. She pulled me towards her, nuzzled into my neck, gave me a kiss and began patting me on the back in a comforting way. To me it was as if she was saying, “it’s OK Mommy, I still love you and I know you are doing the best you can”. I just started crying. It was quite possibly the best moment I have ever experienced. Of course, let’s be honest, she could’ve been thinking “please stop reading, you are boring me to death”. But I like my interpretation better. It helps me feel a little less guilty. Not much, but a little.

So as I sit in meetings, rushed to client dinners and tried to solve the world’s business problems, I try to remember that is it not quantity, it is quality that counts and that I need to treasure every moment I get to spend with my little girl. I need to slow down and enjoy those moments, even though the moment might a temper tantrum in the middle of Target that is so horrific I fear someone is about to call Child Protective Services and report me for torture. I take a deep breath, hug her and remind her how much I love her. That is what counts, that no matter what, she knows that I love her. More than anything.

Good Friends and Seabrook Island, SC

Our Weekend Digs

Marin, Jen & Ryan

Miss. Marin

Hanging Out On The Porch

Getting to Know Each Other

New Friends

Girl's Night

Thank goodness for good friends.

This year we were lucky enough to join one of my best friends, Jen, and her family in Seabrook Island, SC. It is a beach island outside of Charleston and her generous Aunt Diane and Uncle Andy let us stay at their house for a few days. Seabrook is really a special place for Jen (as it was for her Father who sadly passed away a few years ago), it is where she married the love of her life, Ryan. They now have a one-year-old little girl Marin and are a complete and happy little family. Love them. Jen and I have been friends for years, from our days rowing together in CT. Since then we have both moved all over the place and sadly have gotten geographically further and further apart. So to see her was a real treat.

Our visit this time was very different. The last time we had been to the island Ryan and Jen were getting married, neither of us had kids. So it was interesting to be there with of our little girls. For the most part they got along, but I think Roo would go through fits of jealousy, vying for attention from "the baby". She even regressed to some old school tactics, screaming/screeching at the top of her lungs when she was feeling ignored. This trick is something Kerry and I can block out, but I think our friends were a little annoyed.

Roo had a blast at the beach and would sit near the water and just dig for hours. She could've stayed all day. I am hoping this beach fascination phase will last for a bit so we can enjoy our Summer. It was actually relaxing. She still hasn't given up on trying to eat sand, but at least her attempts aren't frequent. Besides, what kid hasn't gotten a little dirt or sand in their mouth? Not on my list of big worries.

So, a great time was had by all. Boys got a night out at a soccer game in Charleston. Girls sort of got a night our for dinner (picture two screaming children throwing food, fastest dinner in history). And we all got to relax, kayak, take beach walks and end our day with happy hour on the back porch. Not to shabby.

The Discovery of Jelly Beans

Easter morning we awoke to a visit from the Easter Bunny. I think by this time Roo was getting used to the idea that this guy was not going away. Then there was the fact that he brought her presents. Maybe this Easter Bunny isn’t so bad after all…

We did our own little Easter egg hunt. She has fun and it was over in about 5 minutes (all videotaped by Daddy of course). One of her eggs was shaped like Elmo, she kept saying “Melmo!” She knew something good was in the egg and shook it vigorously, releasing it’s jelly beans to freedom. She scrambled to grab one and got it into her mouth before I could intercept it. She had a smile on her face as she greedily chewed and before she was even halfway done, was begging for more, with blue colored drool running down her chin. “Mo, mo, mo, mo. Peeez.” We tried to explain to her that we needed to eat breakfast and head to church, but she would have none of it and threw a jelly bean tantrum.

We finally distracted her and got her into the kitchen to eat a whole grain waffle (my attempt to counter balance the candy). Actually, after she got settled onto one of our kitchen stools (she now refuses to use a high chair or booster seat), she was fine and we went about our Easter activities for the day. Up until this time we had, for the most part, avoided giving her candy, cookies or cake, except for special occasions. But she’s no dummy. She knows exactly where the candy is hidden and doesn’t hesitate to ask. I need to find a better hiding place.

Easter Weekend Egg Hunt

This year our neighborhood decided to have an egg hunt the Saturday before Easter. I loved the idea and offered to host happy hour at our house afterwards. There are quite a few kids under the age of 10 and we knew they’d have a blast searching for eggs together. All the Moms in the neighborhood shopped for plastic eggs and fillers for them and we gathered one weeknight to put them all together. Mission accomplished, preparations were complete. Then it rained the rest of the week. But, we were all hopeful that the weather would take a turn for the better and a muddy egg hunt would commence.

No such luck. It rained and rained and rained. We even postponed the start time hoping it would at least slow down to a drizzle and we could send the kids out in raincoats and boots. Nope. So we came up with new plan and one of the neighbors offered her house for an indoor egg hunt. Game on. As we were getting ready to leave I handed her a basket (fuzzy and in the shape of a bunny) and said, “look Roo, it is the Easter Bunny’s basket for you to collect eggs.” She initially went to grab it, but upon hearing the words “Easter Bunny” shook her head “no, no, no, no” (see earlier Easter Bunny blog entry for Easter Bunny phobia background story). So I ended up carrying the basket.

We arrived and gathered the kids in the family room (a couple of Dads had arrived earlier to hide the eggs). We divided the kids into two groups (under 4 and 4+) and set them loose. Complete and total chaos, but complete and total fun for everyone. Each of the younger kids approached the egg hunt just a little differently. Roo for example kept getting distracted (shocker), mostly by the crayons and Princess vanity table, but her favorite distraction was the Little Tikes piano. She would run and find a couple of eggs, then go back and sit at the piano to play. Then we would pick her up, point her in the direction of more eggs, she’d grab a few and then back to the piano.

About an hour later we were all done and headed to our house for holiday food and drink. I think everyone stayed for a couple of hours, until the kid’s bedtime. It was great catching up with everyone and seeing how well the kids played together. The younger ones (James, Reid and Roo) all loved having a chance to play with the big kids. They played hide-and-go-seek and kept hiding behind our dining room curtains. I half expected them to be ripped out of the wall, but enjoyed watching them laugh and play with such big smiles on their faces I couldn’t make them stop.

Kerry and I collapsed exhausted on our couch after saying our goodbyes, putting Roo to bed and cleaning up the kitchen. So much work, but all worth it. I think we need to make it an official neighborhood holiday tradition. Maybe next year Roo will even hold her own basket?

The Easter Bunny

It is quite possible that we have scarred our 18 month old for life and completely turned her off of the Easter Bunny. I know most kids get scared around a year old when they go visit Santa or the Easter Bunny (my Mother has photographs documenting my own toddler fears of Santa), but I was not prepared for our own dramatic showdown with the Trumbull Mall’s Easter Bunny.

The day began typically for a Saturday. Roo wakes us up around 7, we go have breakfast in our jammies (Daddy declared it pancake Saturday) and then we play for a bit. As a break from our routine, I suggested a visit with the Easter Bunny. So we scooped Roo up and took her upstairs to change her clothes. This may have been the beginning of the end.

First of all, she did not want to get in to her dress. Auntie Courtney had bought her a beautiful Easter dress, which she of course initially refused to wear. After a short wrestling match and some bribes, mission accomplished, she was ready to go. Our little family headed to the mall. Upon arrival we stopped at Starbucks, were Roo played peek-a-boo with the barista and kept spinning around in her dress. We then began our journey to Easter Bunny headquarters, outside of JCPenney (you’d think the Bunny could find more glamorous digs with what he was charging for pictures). As we approached the area I made sure the Roo could see the other children in line, approaching the Easter Bunny, sitting in his lap and receiving their Easter “gift.” Then it was our turn. By this time we ended at the front of the line, no one was behind us and Roo and I took our time approaching the six foot brown bunny. She watched cautiously and by the time we were about two feet away, she started shaking her head and saying “no, no, no, no.” I tried to assure her, while making a mad dash to throw her in the Easter Bunny’s lap. She freaked. I don’t think I have ever seen her turn that color red and was impressed by her use of every appendage on her body to hold onto me. I think I could’ve let go of her, put my arms out to my side and she would’ve have still stuck to me like super glue.

This scene carried on for 2-3 minutes. The Mommy dance, attempting to convince my little girl that the Easter Bunny meant no harm. She’d stand there and look at him, but wouldn’t get any closer than 2-3 feet. At one point the poor Bunny, in a gesture of peace, reached out held out a chocolate egg. She ran up, grabbed and went back to her spot as quickly as her little toddler legs could carry her. I went in for the forceful sit again, promising to sit with her. That didn’t work either. Red, screaming and tons of tears. The girls working the camera said it was the second worst reaction they had seen all season (the first being a kid who not only screamed and cried, but actually jumped the display fence and ran down the mall hallway in terror).

So no pictures with the Easter Bunny this year. The worst part is that from that point on, whenever I mention the Easter Bunny she starts shaking her head and repeating that same urgent phrase, “no, no, no, no.” I hope she grows out of this by Christmas in time to see Santa.

New Friends and "Shishie" Adventures

Flirting shamelessly in Starbucks one morning.

Listening to "Under The Sea" on the steel drums.

Hanging out with Tessa by the pool.

Ready for adventures.

Roo checking everything out on the boat over to Atlantis.

Watching the "shishies".

Big fish.

Having a blast.

Touching the starfish.

Asleep after a long day.

One of the most fun parts of being on vacation was the fact that Reagan never met a stranger. Every time we went anywhere she couldn't resist doing her best to be the center of attention. To a parent, it is completely annoying and to the receiver of Roo's wooing, it may be equally as annoying, but most times she made a new friend.

One of her first new friends she met on vacation was Tessa. She and her family were visiting from Canada. Almost every night before bed Roo and Tessa would run around like toddler maniacs wearing each other out before bed. Some days it was a godsend for all of us. They wore each other out. One night both families happened to be returning from dinner at the same time. Roo and Tessa ran around the lobby screaming for about 15 minutes. It was hilarious. No one was really around because it was early and they had the place to themselves. They had a blast.

Along with meeting new people, we also did a lot of exploring. One day we decided to go to Atlantis and check it out. Atlantis has really strict security, but for a daily fee you can get limited access to the resort. We thought taking Roo to see all the aquarium displays would be a good way to spend the day and it was. She was fascinated by all the different fish and tanks. The place was fairly crowded with lots of picture takers. A couple of times Kerry would try to take her picture and she'd look away or run away, just as he was ready to hit the button. But if anyone else was trying to take a picture, she'd walk right up to them and pose. I think two of her favorite parts were watching the jellyfish and an exhibit where you could touch starfish and horseshoe crabs. She loved sticking her little arms in the tank and touching the starfish, eventually we had to drag her out of there so other children could have a turn.

Eventually Roo was worn out and by the time we left a few hours later she was passed out in her stroller. Mommy & Daddy were able to sit and enjoy Starbucks in peace and quiet, but only for a little bit. An hour later she was up and ready for her next adventure. Go, go, go. That's my Roo.